Reaching yet another milestone…but have I improved?

Today is my 21st birthday, another milestone in my life that continues to visit me every year without any hesitation nor boredom. From a small, know-less and mad boy to now, perhaps knowledgeable, deep in contemplation and perhaps regretting of the past….have I improved?

Many mistakes and sins I have committed and many hearts have been broken due to me. Many times, I have went to the wrong path and many times, I have repented….but have I improved?

There were times when I was drowned in the ocean of darkness. There were times when I was hopeless and confused in continuous fight against the merciless waves and wind of evil. There were times when I managed to stay afloat despite the ferociousness and turbulence of the hurricane of devil. Then again, there were times when the weakness of myself getting hold on me and unconsciously, I was drowned and taken lots of salty sea water while almost choking to the death.

Today, after 21 years of struggle and concerted effort… I still managed to stay afloat for now.

Many times I have prayed to the Almighty Allah seeking for help and guidance while floating through this vast, enormous and gigantic ocean of darkness. I hope someone will found me and rescued me from the filthy sea water that has long entrapped me.

There was a castle to which the door is locked,
There was a door to which I have found no key,
There was a key to which was hidden from me….
Now, there is a guard who have shown me the hidden place of the key,
Now, I have start to find this key,
The journey continues…